Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Anger is resentment manifest as brooding, self-pity, depression, unhappiness and masochism

Economic Times - ‎8 Mar 2010, K VIJAYARAGHAVAN

While all the seven failure traits elaborated by Dr Maxwell Maltz are highly relevant, ‘resentment’ is the most damaging of all these. The person concerned, perceiving injustice, wrongs or ingratitude nurtures a vague hope that his antagonism and intimidation would bring change of heart on the other person or situations without. But this imagined ‘cure’, as noted by Dr Maltz, is worse than the disease. This unabated resentment, he also points out, “is a deadly poison to the spirit, makes happiness impossible and uses up tremendous energy, which could go into accomplishment”.

Such resentments are manifest signs of a self-image of not just a “pitiful person, a victim, who was meant to be unhappy” , but also one who needs unfavourable and hostile situations around him as alibis and excuses to justify this self-image chosen for himself. The person thus easily finds causes to attribute motives, ill intentions and hostilities, where none may exist.

To go into the root causes of resentment, which process alone would also root it out permanently , it is thus necessary to be brutally frank about oneself, rooted in that abiding self-honesty that would expose to one’s own evolved self’s various complexes within , besides startling, yet glaring truths. This dynamic approach would enable one to comprehend that just as a harmful self-image was of his own making, changing that, to form a new one, is also in his own hands.

This process, as Dr Maltz points out, is that “creative goal striving” , where one becomes responsible for his own success and happiness. This also is the pathway to real freedom from impediments, both from within and without.

Such freedom is thus through selfanalysis, understanding and acceptance, leading to the needed major paradigm shift. This analysis would also reveal to the seeker that resentment and anger are often the same — the two sides of the same coin. In its passive form, anger is resentment manifest as brooding, self-pity, depression, unhappiness and masochism.

Comprehending the various aspects of this complex, yet ‘not, after all so complex’ issue would be pathway to truly and enduringly changing one’s self-image . The new found self-image , bringing with it freedom from that costly indulgence of resentment and other retarding traits within, would also indeed bring with it a new chapter in all aspects of life and living.

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