All David Davidar's Women! : India : Vinita Dawra Nangia: TOI Blogs
18 July 2010 Did he, didn't he? However well you know someone, can you really vouch for his deepest, darkest urges? Or, even your own?
My point is, however well you know someone, how can you even presume to vouch for his deepest, darkest urges? On what basis can you possibly assume that he or she would never ever give in to those urges, when you cannot predict the same even for yourself? Be it a father, brother, husband or son (let alone a boss, friend or professional acquaintance!), we are all entitled to bits and pieces of ourselves that we never reveal even to those closest to us. It may be true to say, that there are dark sides of our personalities and inner selves that we would particularly hide from those closest to us!
So, if I'm not sure what I am myself capable of in my darkest moments or under the pressure of my own emotions in certain circumstances, how can I possibly jump to the defence of another man or woman and swear by his or her sense of decency? […]
Yes, you are right...and in this case we can see why they say "a woman is a woman's worst enemy!" Why do women jump to a guy's defence just because they think they know him so well! Why do they assume the woman acusing him is lying?!
Yes of course women have their deep, dark urges as well...when did I say they don't? Everyone does. Absence of urges doesn't make a person good or bad. It's how you deal with them that makes you the kind of person you are. I’m sure even the best of us have the worst urges...
On the couch - Man-Woman - Relationships - Life & Style - The ... ANURADHA VERMA,
Jul 18, 2010 Almost half the cases in a psychiatrist's chamber relate to extra-marital affairs. We find out why
- In a fast-forward generation, with people living for themselves, patience is thin and so is staying power in relationships.
- Premarital and extra-marital sex have gone up by 12-15 percent in the last five years. People want to live for today and are more open and willing to experiment.
- People tend to live in the virtual world, with little real communication and that creates loneliness.
- Lack of communication pushes couples to go their own ways, build walls around their individual spaces, till there is no way to connect with each other.
- People get married at later ages and are not willing to compromise. The attitude is of “I am what I am” and of “take it or leave it”!
- As arguments increase in a marriage, sex takes a beating and desire wanes. Before they know it, there has been no intimacy for three months!
- People have unrealistic expectations of partners and of themselves. Everybody wants to change their partners, trying to match reality with the images in their heads.
- With increased awareness, we’re also all too aware of all the things that could go wrong. There’s a sense of disillusionment. Increased awareness festers fear.